Kristie Shoemaker


what if animals could read minds?
what if they could talk?
i feel like they would probably be dicks about it

every bird i pass on the street
would know about that time i did drugs in the bathroom of someone’s parents’ house and
threw up in their bushes an hour later
they would yell down to me from the trees
‘you are such a fuck up’
and gossip about me with their little winged friends
so that under every tree i would hear my name 

i wonder what my dog would say
if she knew about the time i took a pregnancy test in a walmart bathroom
covered in dirt and alcohol from a concert i was at earlier that day
‘i think you are pathetic but you feed me so i’ll deal with you’

and if i thought i would be safe from such criticism by never leaving my room
a little spider would crawl by and say ‘i know you watched porn last night’
that sounds like my worst nightmare
because i really hate spiders


kristie shoemaker is a twenty-three-year-old writer from brooklyn who likes small things and pretend situations with strangers. she has been published in such places as metazen, gesture, voicemail poems and most importantly your heart. you can watch her in the middle of a breakdown at or

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